Dear Prongs
by Zayz
Summary: James Potter is forced to run an advice column for Gryffindor House by his fellow Marauders. Recently edited & will be updated shortly. R&R?
1. A Brilliant Idea

**A/N: All right, so…I'm finally updating Dear Prongs! Lovely, isn't it? I started this a long time ago without really knowing what kind of a response I'd get (and I got a pretty darn good one, if I do say so myself) and then abandoned it for a while, but now I'm ready to begin it fresh. Essentially, what I've done is I've taken the original chapters I'd already posted up, edited them to make them less naïve and flow better (since I now have a clue about where this is going - hehe!), and then reposted them. I would have deleted the story altogether to repost, but I already had people on the alert and favorites lists, so I decided to just do it this way. :) Hope you guys like this new version, and please don't forget to review!!

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_Attention All Gryffindors!_

_It's me, your favorite Marauder, Prongs! Now, we know that you are all looking for a personal way to talk to us, and we refuse to tell you who we really are, so I believe that we have come up with a decent solution to this problem. Moony has insisted that I begin an advice system; all you guys have to do is send me a letter in the Drop Off Box in the common room and I will answer them at my own leisure. Pick them up in the Pick Up Box, which is right next to the first box, and hopefully, my opinions will be of some help to you. But please, keep it Gryffindors only; I don't want to have to sympathize with some slimy Slytherin git, you know what I mean?_

_Looking forward to hearing from you,_

_Prongs_

Overnight, this sign – which had been blown up to a fairly colossal size with lots of bright colors – had found its place on the bulletin board on the wall of the Gryffindor Common Room thanks to Sirius Black, and inevitably, there was already an enormous throng of people positioned in front of it at eleven o'clock in the morning. Pleased with his anonymous effort, Sirius himself was still there, admiring his handiwork with the rest of the Marauders. Remus and Peter were quite enthusiastic, but James's energy level was, as expected, slightly lower than the other three's.

"I still can't believe that you're making me do that lame advice idea," James grumbled under his breath as they all pretended to be very interested even though they knew exactly what was written on it. "I don't have the time to give people advice! I can hardly get my homework done as it is, and McGonagall's going to roast me over a fire if I forget my Transfiguration homework again."

"If it was Lily, would you give _her_ advice?" Sirius asked with a grin, looking over at Lily, who was rolling her eyes at the letter.

"Of course," James said at once. "But she's not going to want to open up to Prongs, is she? She hates the Marauders as much as she hates me." There was a certain bitterness to his tone as he stated this reality – he had never quite gotten over the fact that Lily Evans couldn't stand the sight of him, even though he was in the middle of his sixth year and had been given plenty of time to accept it.

"Maybe, but you never know," Sirius said mysteriously. Sirius, for reasons best known only to him, was always cryptic on his opinion about his best friend and his crush – it made him feel clever, and out of kindness, James allowed him to say what he liked.

"This is a good idea, guys," Remus insisted from in front of them. "You're highly opinionated, James, and people listen to the things you say. You'd be helping out; isn't that what you want?"

"Yeah, but I don't know how to advise people on their melodramas – I have enough of my own already," James said.

"I guess you do," Sirius said. "You lead such an exciting double life." He checked to make sure no one was listening before saying, "I mean, really – first you're James Potter, Quidditch player and chick magnet extraordinaire, and then you're Prongs, smooth-talking prankster the next. It's fascinating."

To anyone else, this would have sounded like a compliment, but James knew his friend well enough to be able to say, "Gee, thanks."

"Stop bickering," Remus objected.

"We're not bickering – we're just having a friendly sarcastic face-off, and you're ruining it," Sirius said.

James snickered, but said, "I suppose we should humor him, Black."

"Fine," Sirius complained.

Remus smiled sardonically. "Thank you, Sirius. It means the world to me."

"So it should." Satisfied, Sirius craned his neck to catch a glimpse of his precious poster to keep up his charade, though no one was paying him much attention anyway. James, however, was no longer trying to look at the sign – he was looking through the crowd of people and the few still sitting around on the sofas, seeking someone out. Sirius, of course, noticed this in a matter of seconds while Remus did not, and said, "Oy, Potter – the sign is _here_, not _there_."

"I know, I know," said James. "But I want to look for Lily – do you know where she is? She's not up here gawking like we are."

"You're pathetic when it comes to that chick, mate," Sirius said nonchalantly. "But it's okay, I'll forgive you."

"Gee, thanks," James said sarcastically. "Now, why on earth would I be pathetic when you go to bed with Alyssa Brahms, your current conquest, almost every night?"

"Hey, she's a good kisser, and _I_ don't actually go to bed with _her_; _she_ comes to bed with _me_," Sirius said, grinning.

"You like going to bed with Alyssa Brahms?" Remus chimed in suddenly, revolted.

"Where's Peter?" Sirius asked swiftly, looking around for him as he ignored Remus's question.

"It's just after breakfast; I'll bet you he's still in the Great Hall," said James, snickering. "That boy…his eating habits need to change."

Sirius laughed. "Definitely." Then, he lowered his voice, and asked, "Hey, should I distract everyone and you can steal the Pick Up Box and see what's in there?"

"No, not yet," said James, his tone equally quiet. "We need to give them some time to submit letters to our lovely Prongsie, right?"

"True, true," Sirius agreed. "When, then?"

"I'd say tonight," Remus proposed, randomly joining the conversation again – he always did this. "Every night, we'll pick it up and answer whatever's in it. Prongs is a popular Hogwarts figure; he would attract many letters a day."

"If it was Padfoot, we'd have a box full of letters already," Sirius said, laughing nearly inaudibly. "Wouldn't we?"

"Nah," James said. "People look at you as an entertainer, and yes, I do mean that both ways."

Sirius beamed. "You're right! You and Moony are more advice-type than I am. Unless it comes to girls."

"Yeah, so why is it _me_ that answers letters?" James inquired, pulling Remus aside to talk more freely. "Why isn't it you?"

"Because you're everyone's favorite Marauder," Remus explained. "Popularity helps with something like this. People trust you, James, whether or not you believe it."

"Yeah, well," James grumbled. "If this goes wrong though, you're the one to blame. And all three of you will have to read them and answer them with me."

"That sounds fair," Remus reasoned. "Is that okay with you, Sirius?"

"Yeah," he said, shrugging indifferently.

"Good," James said. "Peter had better be all right with this too, because I'm not doing this alone."

"What is Peter all right with?" All of a sudden, Peter himself walked into the common room and approached his friends, licking the salt off of his fingers.

"Peter!" James called to him jovially. When he ambled over, content after a heavy breakfast, James then said with a little more containment, "You are all right with the fact that you, Sirius, and Remus are going to be answering letters with me for this advice thing, aren't you; that's what we were discussing."

"Oh," Peter said. "Okay. I can do that."

"Good," James said again. He was about to say something else, too, but at that very moment, Lily Evans walked into the common room after eating her own breakfast, and James was instantly distracted. He watched her sit down on the chair in the corner, not even glancing at the commodity on the bulletin board, and said to the Marauders, "Hey, I'm going to go see if Evans knows about Prongs."

"You're so hopeless," Sirius remarked, laughing, as he watched his friend run off to talk to Lily at the other side of the room.

Disregarding Sirius's comment, James went straight up to his favorite red-haired girl and beamed at her. "Hello Evans," he said in his most mature voice, attempting to sound manly and polite. He'd been prone to doing that lately, hoping it would impress her in some way.

"Good-bye, Potter," Lily said irritably, turning away with a roll of her eyes. This was such a typical reaction of hers; one would think, at the age of sixteen, that she'd be over such childishness, but Lily had always been special that way – she only grew up for people that were not James.

"So…" he began, paying no attention to her less-than-warm greeting. "So Lil; what do you think of this new thing that the Marauders are doing?"

"I think that it's completely stupid," she announced, her voice radiating petulance. "The Marauders are about as deep as a Petri dish; they couldn't give advice if their lives depended on it."

"Aw, come on," James said, his tone playfully complaining. "Prongs can't _that_ bad, can he?"

"Yes, he is," she said heatedly. "He is, perhaps, the worst of them; other than Padfoot, of course."

The irony of this statement was overwhelming; she thought the same way about James and his friends normally, and it was only with great difficulty that he held back his laughter.

"I think it's absolutely terrible that they are trying to brainwash the rest of Gryffindor House this way," Lily continued. "I wish that they'd just shut up and leave everyone alone."

"Are you going to send Prongs a letter then?" James inquired after semi-recovering.

"Of course not," she said. "Why would I do that?"

"Oh, I don't know; maybe to tell him what you think of this experiment and see what he says back?" James suggested, hoping to sound offhand.

"Maybe I will, but why do you care anyway?" she demanded.

"I think that the Marauders are great," he said. "Besides, your opinion matters to me." At this point, his eyelashes began to bat in a rather flirty manner semiconsciously (he'd have to learn how to control those), and this, of course, offended an already-touchy Lily.

"Well, I thank you for your concern, but I am currently not in the mood to be dealing with you," she said curtly, her eyes flashing murder. "I want to rest for a moment before starting my Potions essay; do you mind?"

James shrugged noncommittally, but he knew that this was probably not the time to test Lily; instead, he went back to his friends and looked at them mournfully.

"She hates me," he said, looking wistfully back at her.

"Thanks for stating the obvious," Sirius said, patting his shoulder.

"Oh Sirius," Remus said, looking annoyed. "James, you probably just go around her the wrong way. If you tried to be a little less flirtatious and treated her as more of a person, I'd bet that she may like you."

"Or Sirius could be right, and she does hate him all the way," Peter inserted. "I think that she loathes him, and they won't ever end up together."

"Pessimistic much?" James said, looking at him with a mixture of frustration and wretchedness. "But maybe you're right; maybe she won't marry me and our plans for the future would be ruined."

"What were those plans all about?" Remus asked, wrinkling his nose in confusion.

"Well," Sirius said, grinning. "We made this promise up in first year – I was going to marry a Muggle pop star, get all her money, and have eight kids together. James was going to marry Lily and have six kids, and my oldest daughter would marry his oldest son, so we'd be officially be related."

"We were also going to arrange a blind marriage for Peter, because no one else would marry him on their own free will," James added, gesturing to his friend.

"My only requirement is that she has to be pretty," Peter explained, completely shameless about this bewildering proposal.

Remus looked highly disturbed, but he said nothing more as he left to go upstairs to his dormitory – they were done faking interest in their own notice. James, Sirius, and Peter just laughed together, but went to join him anyway; they were bored, and taunting Remus about the homework he was probably going to do was sufficient enough entertainment.

But, despite that, they knew that once their newest scheme got going, the advice business would be their all-time favorite form of entertainment.


	2. Welcomes of All Sorts

**A/N: All right, well, there's really not all that much to say here – just read, review, and enjoy!

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Later on that night, at twelve o'clock sharp, Sirius sneaked the Drop-Off box upstairs to the dormitory when everyone was asleep; the plan was that he would steal it and the boys would answer the letters by the cover of night with a lantern next to them. He looked rather exerted when he finally got back up to the waiting Marauders; he dropped the box in front of his friends with a certain relief.

"Gosh Prongs; look at all those letters!" he said, gesturing the pile of letters that was spilling out of the tiny box. "We'd better start working through these if we ever want to finish."

"James, you and Sirius can reply; I'll read them to tell you what's going on and you can write your return letter," Peter suggested, grabbing at the nearest letter. "Here, let's start with this one." He cleared his throat and read the letter out loud.

_Dear Prongs,_

_You sound like you're the cutest thing on the face of the planet! Would you please go out with me? I love you. I'm your biggest fan in Gryffindor House. I love your pranks, and you are my favorite Marauder. Please, please, please go out with me?_

_Rachel Young_

James burst into hysterical laughter as he took the letter from Peter; Rachel had gone as far as to put lipstick kisses underneath her writing. Peter and Sirius began to laugh as well, tears pouring out of their eyes.

"If this is the type of stuff we get, maybe we shouldn't do this anymore," Sirius said, wiping his eyes and hiccupping. "What will you say, Prongs?"

With another chuckle, James took his quill and a piece of parchment and started to construct his response.

_Dear Rachel Young,_

_I'm pleased to know that you think so highly of me, but I currently am not looking for a girlfriend. I apologize for the inconvenience this may cause for you._

_Prongs_

"I'm impressed, James," Remus admitted. "That's a very polite response. I expected you to take a more…Sirius type route."

While Sirius pouted and Peter giggled, James explained, "Well, I'm going to try taking this seriously in case people actually trust me; I mean, I _am _capable of being serious, even if I don't like to be."

"That's a good goal," said Remus, looking delighted. "This is a breakthrough!"

Peter's giggles intensified. "Nice try, James but we know that you're not serious at all. You prefer goofing off, which really _is_ a good goal. We need to have some fun!"

"I'm in agreement with Wormtail on that one," Sirius said, raising his hand lazily. "You don't have a serious bone in your body, Prongs, and that's what we like about you."

"Shut up," James said, half teasing and half honest as he lightly kicked Peter and Sirius. "I'm just a fantastic actor then, because I'm quite intelligent if I want to be."

"Fine, fine," Sirius gave in with a sigh. "Be boring then. I'll just sit here and wait until the real you is released from the closet."

"Oh Sirius, don't be so judgmental," Remus chastised. "James doesn't only exist for having fun; he is a person as well, after all."

"Of course he exists for having fun!" Sirius said. "What else would he bloody do?"

"He would do other things that balanced, sixteen year old human beings do," Remus answered shortly. "Fun is a good thing to have along the way, but it shouldn't be everything. Even you, Sirius, have to grow up _some_ time."

"That's crazy talk," Peter interjected. "Fun is the reason we do things! Think about; we usually act on what's most convenient for us at the time."

"Yeah, so that's why I don't want to do this advice thing at all anymore," James added, waving Rachel's letter in front of them. "No one wants my advice; they just want to date me."

"Here's a letter from Evans," Remus said, pointing it out in the pile – he knew that it was the perfect incentive to keep James on his toes.

"Where?" In the blink of an eye, letters were flying across the room as James dove for Lily's note. When he got to it, he ripped it out of the envelope it came in and put it on the ground so that all the Marauders could read it.

_Dear Prongs,_

_I'm sure you've gotten about a million letters from all of your love-sick fans, but I sent this one just to tell you that I'm not one of them. I detest you, and everything you stand for. I would never ask you for anything, because I know you're not mature enough to handle it, nor do I trust you. You bully people all the time, and your tricks are just so juvenile. I've been dying for an opportunity to tell you about what I thought about you, so I do thank you for giving it to me._

_Please; don't take care._

_Lily Evans_

"Bloody hell, it's like she's psychic," said Sirius, wincing once he had finished reading her letter. "We _did_ get lots of letters from love-sick fans."

James looked angrily at the single sheet of parchment, as though it had personally done him wrong. "Why does she always do this to me?"

"This isn't really an intellectual theory, but maybe it's because she simply doesn't like you," Peter said, looking at James as though he was being particularly thick.

"Yes, I know that much, thank you, but what am I supposed to do about it?" James wailed, looking at the letter with desolation again.

"Reply back in the most pessimistic and guilt-riding manner you can," Sirius recommended, handing him parchment and a quill. "Make her feel horrible; sort of agree with her, but berate her at the same time, and be so assertive that it kills her." His smile was devious as his last words trailed off; the prospect of hurting Lily Evans with words was thrilling him a little too much.

"I like it," James said slowly, surprising all of them. "Assertive…I'm not usually assertive with her, so she'll never know it's me."

A few minutes passed in silence, the only noise being James's quill scratching on the parchment; when he was done, he put the finished response in the middle of the four of them for approval.

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_I have gotten many letters, as you have predicted, and they seem to trust me; it's rather regretful that you don't. It is a little disheartening that you detest me as much as you say, but I suppose that it is your opinion, and I can't really argue or change your mind. I do have many more letters I need to get to answering though, so I'd appreciate it if you'd keep your negative opinions to yourself._

_Prongs_

"That's perfect," Sirius declared, high-fiving James. "This is exactly what she needs to hear – butt out, but in a more polite way."

"She doesn't deserve your politeness," Peter snarled, looking at Lily's letter again. "Be a little more…vulgar."

"Nah, that'll just turn her off even more," James said, folding up his letter and putting it in an envelope so that it could be put into the Pick Up Box. "God forbid that she be turned off more than she already is."

"Good point," Peter said, shrugging. "It was just a suggestion though."

"I think that you're handling this admirably well," Remus said, smiling. "I'm overjoyed to see that."

"Well, I _am_ James Potter after all," James said, his face playfully pompous. "I can handle _everything_, and Lily Evans is part of that everything."

Remus rolled his eyes but laughed while he gave James his next letter. "Answer this then, Mr. Everything."

"Of course." James laughed as well and opened up the letter, snorting as he read it. It was another girl who wanted to date him; how typical. Throughout the night, the boys found at least eighteen girls in the House throughout the different years who only wrote to date James. The rest of them were actually seeking some advice, which James happily gave (with Sirius contributing his own twisted ideas, which were immediately shot down by Remus), and at around four in the morning, the Pick Up Box was ready for the common room. Peter was asleep on the ground when Sirius had delivered the box downstairs, and Remus was starting to nod off as well. James was already in bed, waiting for his friend to come back before sleeping as well.

"What lumps," Sirius said disgustedly, poking Peter with his big toe. "Shall we leave them here?"

"I suppose," James said, grinning tiredly. "Come to bed, Padfoot; have a few hours of well-deserved sleep, would you?"

"Gladly, Prongs," Sirius said, yawning, as he jumped into bed in a very dog-like way. "Good night."

"Good night." James turned off the light, but he didn't go to sleep just yet. He was, of course, thinking about Lily and her mean-spirited letter. Was Peter really right? Would she just hate him and that would be the end of it? Would she reply to his letter? Would she be rude or apologetic? Would she talk to him again? What if she found out that he was Prongs? Would she be mad? Well, yes, she would be, but the rest of the questions weren't as easily answered.

He let out a heavy sigh as he tried to allow his drowsiness to overtake him; he knew he would have to do something about Lily Evans, and it would have to be done very, _very_ soon.


	3. So Called Apologies

**A/N: I think I forgot to mention this, but this story takes place in 5****th**** year, in the middle of the year. :) You might want to know that.

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The next night, the moment the last person dropped onto their beds in the boy's dormitory, Sirius was downstairs, and when he came back in what felt like a half a second later, he was holding the heavy Drop Off Box in his arms. With flourish, he set it down in front of Remus, Peter, and James, who were already in their circle and waiting, and grinned.

"Tonight's was heavier than yesterday's; you must have said something right, Prongs," he remarked, shaking the box to prove his point. "Now, before we start tonight's batch, I'd like to request that you two-" he pointed at Remus and Peter. "-don't fall asleep this time, because James and I don't want to have to put everything away alone again. Get it?"

"I was tired," Peter protested. "I couldn't help it!"

"Of course you could help it, you useless bulge," Sirius said as he opened the box. "All you did yesterday was eat and sleep."

"I did not," Peter insisted. "I did my homework too."

"No you didn't," Sirius scoffed. "You copied off of mine."

"He did?" Remus looked rather miffed, though the rest of the boys could not imagine why. "Sirius, why did Peter copy your homework?"

"Because I didn't feel like giving him the answers orally," Sirius explained. "Normally I just tell him what to write, but yesterday I was feeling lazy, so I just gave him my work to copy."

"He copied my homework the day before," James added conversationally as he began to search through the letters. "Sirius and I switch off."

"It's very helpful," Peter said, beaming. "The teachers reckon I'm some kind of genius by now."

Remus let out an odd yelp and said, "That's horrible! Peter, from now on, you're going to have to do your own homework."

Peter began to chortle, and in turn, Sirius and James did too. "Silly Moony; why would I do that?" Peter asked through his laughter.

"Well, if you don't do your work, how will you learn?" Remus asked.

"Oh, lighten up, Moony," Sirius said idly as he began to open his first letter. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Yes, it is!" Remus insisted, scandalized. "This is completely immoral, unfair to those who actually _do_ their work, and I cannot believe that you let him –"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Sirius interrupted. "This is one from your would-be girlfriend, Prongs; take a look." He tossed the letter at James, who took it curiously. As he glanced over it, his expression became more definitively incredulously sickened. When he finished, he snorted and got out some parchment to answer it. Peter picked it up and read it aloud to the rest of them.

_Dear Prongs,_

_I haven't told this to anyone before, but I really trust you, even if you won't go out with me. See, I have this disease that makes my toenails ooze fungus every three days. I know it sounds gross, and it is – my feet reek and it looks hideous when I take my socks off – but it's a medical condition. I want your advice, Prongs; what should I do about my icky feet?_

_Rachel Young_

By the time Peter had read the unfortunate young lady's name, all four of them were in peals of laughter; Peter had the gift of reading things out and making them sound extremely entertaining, even if they weren't. Tears were pouring down Sirius's cheeks, and he was getting close to passing out because he couldn't even breathe for laughing. James's tears were getting splattered on the parchment; he had to spoil quite a lot before he could write out his response with no tear drops on it.

"No, leave them there," Sirius said hoarsely as he tried to regain his powers of speech. "She'd like a bit of her darling Prongsie with her while she mops up her toe fungus." He high-fived Peter and the two of them went into more hysterics together. Remus, however, had stopped laughing fairly quickly – admirably quickly, actually, considering how hard he'd been laughing only a few moments previously – and glared at them.

"Don't make fun of her," he objected. "It's a medical thing; she can't help the condition of her toes."

"Well, she shouldn't have told Prongs about it; like he cares!" Sirius said, cackling. "What's he supposed to say to that anyway?"

"Let's ask him," Peter suggested, looking over James's shoulder to see what he was writing.

James dotted an 'i' on his page with flourish and handed his friend the paper. "There you go, Pete."

"Thanks very much." Peter cleared his throat and announced in a pompous, Cockney accent:

_Dear Rachel Young,_

_I'm terribly sorry to hear of your condition, and I am quite flattered that you confided in me. However, I can offer little advice besides keeping your socks on in public, and making sure to clean your feet out as thoroughly as is possible in the privacy of your own bathroom. If anyone asks what you are doing, tell them to mind their own business; keep this kind of stuff to yourself._

_Prongs_

Sirius was still giggling when Peter finished reading the response. "Geez Prongs; nice of you to tell her that you have nothing to say to her," he said. "'Tell them to mind their own business.' That was a bit of a blow-off if I ever saw one."

"Well, what would _you_ have said?" Remus took over, raising an eyebrow. "Don't harp on James so much; on his defense, he's handling this very, very well."

James groaned. "Remus, please don't help."

"Why not?" Remus sounded a bit hurt.

"Because when you think I'm doing well, then it must mean that I'm too mushy and understanding," James clarified. "I'd better sharpen up."

"That's the James Potter I know," Sirius said, beaming as he patted his friend on the back. "Welcome back."

"Is there anything else that I can read out loud?" Peter inquired, sifting through some more letters. "Ooh, here's Lily's response; do you want to see this, James?"

"Yeah!" James snatched the letter from Peter and ripped it open. He read through it eagerly, drinking it in, but when he was finished, he rolled his eyes and snorted as he tossed it aside and took utensils to reply. Peter took the abandoned parchment, cleared his throat once more (he appeared to like the rather important-sounding noise it made before he read), and changed his accent to a breathy, fairly nasally high-pitched one:

_Dear Prongs,_

_I'm sorry I was so harsh with you in my first letter. My feelings remain the same, but I felt it was important to tell you that I shouldn't have been so outspoken. I did feel really bad about it; I hope you'll trust me when I say that. You're right though, because you can't change my mind about you. I'm quite sorry if you have finally found someone among your clan that has her priorities in the right place._

_Lily Evans_

Sirius's eyebrows were in danger of getting lost in his hairline when this had been read out. "Gosh, what a bitch. Why do you like her so much?"

"Shut up, Sirius," James said, throwing a pillow at him. "She's being a little unreasonable at the moment, yes, but she's not a bitch."

"Unreasonable?" Peter looked at the letter again and quoted, "'I'm quite sorry if you have finally found someone among your clan that has her priorities in the right place.' Prongs, mate, she's trying to tell you that everyone that admires you – which is most of the people in our house – have their priorities in the wrong place for that very reason."

"I know," James said. "But I'm going to be polite back to her. Give me a minute to think about what I want to say."

"Say something cutting," Sirius suggested. "She's being really rude; you owe her the favor back, don't you?"

"No," James said shortly as he began to write. "I will be assertive, like last time; she seems to respond well to that."

"That's the way to go," Remus approved with a nod and a smile. "James, this newfound maturity is so refreshing; where was this all these years?"

"If I knew, it would be back there again, because I hate being so 'mature,'" James retorted as he wrote something more fiercely than he had intended. "I want to shout at her, like I would to any other girl, but I can't make myself do that. I don't know why."

"You've liked her since you were eleven years old," Sirius reminded him. "That gives her a bit of a break in your book, whether or not you want to give it to her. She doesn't deserve it though."

"Still, I wrote something pretty gracious back, considering what I'm feeling towards her right now," James said, giving Peter the finished letter. "Read away."

Peter obliged, and used a deep, throaty voice now:

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_I appreciate your honesty, and your apology, but quite honestly, I don't have too much to say to you. I have seen you, spoken to you, associated with you, and been around you before, and I had previously liked you; I still do think you're a fantastic person, but I see now that you're probably not my type. You don't have to waste your time sending me letters anymore; we're not kidding anyone here._

_Prongs_

"You still think she's fantastic?" Sirius howled, looking mournful. "James, don't tell her that! That's the dumbest thing you can say when you're trying to shut her up. I like your last sentence though; adequately cold."

"Thank you, but I think it's important for her to know that I care about her," James said as he put the finished reply into an envelope for delivery. "I don't want to sound _too_ cold because then she'll never talk to me again."

Sirius's expression, even if it was being heavily restrained, suggested a statement something like, 'When did she talk to you very much in the first place?' However, it was Peter who spoke aloud, by inquiring, "Why would her not talking to you be a bad thing?"

"Even you, Wormtail, shouldn't be that thick," James snapped. "It's bad for very obvious reasons! I like her, so it's kind of a good thing if she can talk to me."

Sirius shook his head, disappointed. "Just when I think you can't get any dumber, you astound me again, Peter. But then again, James, we will never know why you are so stuck on Lily; she's not bloody interested, so why do you try?"

"I try because sometimes you just_ know_ that someone's meant for you," James clarified, picking up another letter. "Every part of me is screaming at me – it's Lily! She's the one! So it's mostly my sixth sense – my chick sense – that keeps me attracted to her."

"We're not adults yet, James," Remus pointed out. "We are not really fit to make decisions like that when we're so young."

"I know, but love doesn't believe in limits," James persisted. "I can't really explain it in words, but I just have a good feeling about Lily. I know we can work it out…somehow."

"You sound so deep and insightful," Sirius complained. "Shut up and say something suggestive so that I know it's still you."

"Hmmmm…how was it Alyssa last night, Sirius?" James inquired, grinning. "Is that suggestive enough for you?"

"I'll take it," Sirius said. "But still; don't be like this! Be the fun-loving, girl-obsessed guy that I chose for my best friend back in first year."

"James is finally showing signs of maturity, Sirius; you should be following his example," Remus said. "James, you might be on the verge of a break through; maybe you'll be Head Boy by seventh year if you keep going like this!"

"Lets not get too hasty here," James said, looking appalled. "You're the good boy; you'll get the Head Boy spot. Me? I might turn out kind of mature, but that's only a possibility; you will be boring and goody-good all your life."

"No, I won't," Remus objected. "I'm not boring or goody-good!"

Peter laughed. "That was a good one, Remus; not boring or goody-good…what a lie."

Remus threw Peter a filthy look and said, "I'm not _that_ boring."

"Without us, Remus, a block of porridge would be more interesting than you," Sirius informed him. "You'd be pretty much invisible because all you do is work; we bring out the human…and the not-so-human sides of you."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, I need to be smart to survive; being interesting isn't as pertinent."

"How do you suppose you're going to get married then?" Sirius demanded. "James is an athlete, I'm gorgeous, and Peter has amazing friends; what about you? Should we do a blind marriage for you too? If you want us to, say so; there's no shame in a blind marriage. You know we pick good girls."

"I don't want to get married," Remus said steadily. "I am a werewolf; no one will want to marry a werewolf. I would be too dangerous."

"I bet you anything that in the future, they'll make a potion that will help you transform," James assured him. "You'll be tamer. Besides, if you find that perfect girl, she won't care about what you are."

"If she's that perfect, James, then she deserves someone young and whole; someone who won't devour her because of a bloody wolf that had nothing to do with her," Remus said steadily. "Besides, it'll all come in its right time. For now, we are fifteen, and we shouldn't be worrying about marriage anyway."

"Well, the rest of us who have their romantic timelines intact know that you need to start girlfriend hunting _now_ if they ever want a wife _later_," Sirius said. "You really should put yourself out there, Moony; girls like furry creatures. You don't have to tell her which one you are."

"Can we stop making fun of me and finish these letters?" Remus asked irately. "Blimey, it's already midnight and we've only answered two letters."

"Fine, fine," Sirius grumbled as he took out another letter. Peter grabbed at a letter as well, as did James and Remus. For the next few hours, the boys read letters, gave some ideas for advice as James tried to hastily write it all down, and went on to the next piece of parchment in sight. By three AM, all the letters had finally been answered, and Remus was still awake, which was an improvement. To make up for falling asleep the other night, he also helped Sirius take all the letters down to the Pick Up Box while James watched Peter sleep, and thought about what he could do to annoy his friend.

So, when Sirius and Remus came upstairs, panting, James was already in bed, and Peter was completely soaked through, yet somehow still asleep. Sirius took in Peter's wet form, James's too-angelic slumber, and the slightly wet bucket nearby, and grinned. A sudden monkey-grin on his face, he filled up the bucket himself and threw the bucket over Peter, delighted, but Peter was, by some miracle, sound asleep despite that. Sirius offered Remus a go (which he refused) before doing it one more time for him and going to bed.

"Nice idea, Prongs," Sirius whispered to James in the darkness. "Pretty ruthless. Maybe tomorrow, when he asks what happened, we can tell him that he wet himself."

"Really, you two," Remus said. "You are both being utterly juvenile right now. Sirius, I wouldn't have expected any different from you, but James; you had been so good today, and now you throw buckets on poor, innocent Peter!"

Sirius snorted for the third time that night. "Poor, innocent Peter? Yeah right. 'Poor innocent Peter' likes to put ketchup and maple syrup on your eggs in the mornings."

"I thought that was you," James said, looking confused.

"Well, yes, but Peter helps," Sirius clarified.

Remus looked quite aggravated, but he said, "Lights out, both of you. And don't throw more water on Peter."

"Fine," Sirius mumbled. He put out his light and said, "Good-night Moony, Prongs."

"Good night, both of you," James said back, putting out his own light and settling under the covers. It had been quite a night; Rachel's feet had definitely added a few eyebrow raises a few hours back. But, of course, it wasn't only Rachel that was on James's mind; it was Lily. He hadn't forgotten about her so-called apology; would she reply back to him like he expected, or would she actually keep her quill to herself and not write back? He had learned, by this point, that either one was a distinct possibility, but, of course, nothing besides twenty-four hours would give him any kind of answer.

The real question, though, was whether or not he truly wanted that answer.


	4. Done

**A/N: Okay, so this is the last edited chapter before we get to some new stuff for this story! If you're here reading this, you must be psyched; this story was received very well when I first posted it, which surprised me since it was initially written so awfully. But, now I think I'm ready for it; my writing has definitely grown at least a little since last summer when this came up, and I can't wait to turn this into something exciting!!**

**Read & review, luffs; you know how that makes me so happy. ;3**

* * *

The next morning couldn't come fast enough for James, sad though he was to admit to it; the moment the first, hazy rays of sunlight hit his eyes through the loose muslin curtains in his room, he jumped out of bed and bounded off to get ready. He took a hasty shower and got dressed before running down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast, with his fellow Marauders still in bed.

He sat down and tried to eat something, but in truth, he couldn't; he needed to see Lily. He needed to see if she had reacted to what Prongs had written to her, and he needed to see it right then; he would go more than legally insane if he didn't.

It was one of his biggest nadirs, really – he was probably one of the least patient people in the world. The only pity was that he didn't care enough to work on changing it.

So, he dutifully hunted for Lily through the morning, as he did whenever he had the sudden urge to speak to her, but to his disappointment, he couldn't find her; it was quite frustrating, really. He was sure she was avoiding him – she usually was, even when he only had an innocent query to pose.

Eventually though, he managed to catch her outside the girl's bathroom; she was just coming out and clearly looking like she wanted something to eat at this early hour. Smiling his usual goofy grin upon catching her, he strode right over to her, and said, "Good morning, Miss Evans."

Lily was rather astonished to find James by her side, in all honesty, and she decided to share the notion with him by saying, "Isn't it a little ahead of your schedule for you to be stalking me right now, Potter?"

James rolled his eyes, but kept his grin in place as he ran a hand unconsciously through his hair. "Actually, I find the term 'stalker' kind of offensive – I prefer 'knowledgeable admirer.'"

"You would." She smirked, but tried to walk a little ahead of him as she said, "But either way, I'd like to get down to the Great Hall at the moment; do you mind?"

"Not at all," he said as he easily picked up her stride. "In fact, I'll join you."

"Lucky me." Her tone was dripping in sarcasm, but she was clearly in a better mood than the one he'd caught her in on the day he'd posted the original notice for the Prongs Advice Letter system – she was letting him walk with her, which was inspiring.

He was about to say something useless, bordering on conversation-filler, but it was at this moment Lily finally asked, "What do you want, anyway? You're evidently after something or another."

"Very observant," James said, his expression and tone impressed. "I'm pleased that you've managed to pick up on my little habits."

It was her turn to roll her eyes now, but he went on to ask her, "But since you asked, my question to you was this – did you decide to send Prongs a letter, like I'd suggested the first day?"

"Maybe," Lily answered a little too quickly, her cheeks a very subtle rose. "Why?"

"I dunno," James said purposefully. "I wrote to him myself, and his advice was pretty good, actually. He's a smart guy."

There was nothing wrong with advertising his own business, was there?

Lily didn't believe him, however; she just got that stormy look on her face that she always wore when she was pissed at something, and she said tonelessly, "I'm sure it was."

He winked. "I think someone's a little tetchy because they _did_ send a letter to Prongs and don't want to admit it."

"Who would tell you a thing like that?" she immediately asked.

"Sirius," he lied effortlessly.

"How did Sirius know? Are all of you my 'knowledgeable admirers' now?" she inquired icily, her expression hardening by the second. Lily was slightly more polite this year than she had been last year, but that didn't mean she was truly _nice_ to him yet – he still had some bugs to work out with that goal.

"Nah, it was nothing like that, he just happened to see you put your letter in the box a couple of days back," James said, the spontaneous fib rolling off his tongue so naturally he almost believed himself. "So, did he reply?"

"Yes, he did," she chose to divulge, although her tone was surprisingly curt – even to someone who knew the truth. "And I found that I was justified in not liking Prongs. It was stupid to write to him."

All right then! _This_ was something he hadn't expected – not in the least. But, then again, Lily Evans was (in)famous for never doing what people expected her to do – so maybe he should have expected to expect the unexpected. If that made any sense at all.

It didn't seem to, so instead of figuring it out further, James innocently asked her, "Well…what did he say?"

"Something about him not wanting to talk to me anymore," Lily said stiffly. Her lips were pursed in that tight, anxious, brisk sort of way they were when something did not go exactly to plan; he had seen her make that face in class when she didn't get the grade she wanted on a class assignment and he knew her well enough to know that it meant business.

"Are you going to write back anyway?" James eventually asked as they passed a slightly-rattling suit of armor on the second floor, choosing his words carefully to ensure they were devoid of more connotation than he could help; this was plainly a delicate conversation, and he didn't want to be the one to spoil it.

She took a minute or two to walk with him down the main steps, contemplating her response. Visibly frustrated with her lack of one once they reached the landing of the ground floor, she resolved to snap, "It's none of your business really, so you'll leave me alone now, yeah?"

As a bonus, she threw him a very dirty look for reasons yet unknown to him, and his eyes slightly narrowed; it was not his fault that she was rude to Prongs and got upset by a very well-stated (at least, in his point of view) response in return.

He was about to tell her so, to protest this highly unjust treatment to a harmless question, but it was now that she finally tucked her vivid hair behind her ear and stormed rather immaturely into the Great Hall to eat.

Of course, James knew better than to follow her when she was in such a vindictive mood, but he was tempted to nonetheless; not only was it amusing how fired-up she allowed herself to get in front of him, he also wanted to protest how utterly unfair she'd been. He decided against it though; it was never good to try talking sense to a girl like Lily, who even at the age of fifteen-going-on-sixteen, had the tendency to act like a four-year-old with him. It would only end in another vicious sort of a row.

He ran his fingers through his hair once more, exhaling roughly as he made a face to himself, leaning back against the stone wall next to the door.

Brilliant – just bloody brilliant.

He wondered vaguely where Sirius would be, since it was now closer to the normal time he came downstairs to breakfast, but he wasn't in the mood to look for him. He wasn't in the mood to wait for Remus or Peter either, since they would probably either be getting ready to come down with Sirius or egging Sirius to hurry up so they could leave.

His goal-focused, bright weekday morning suddenly became a whole lot less goal-focused and bright as he sullenly blew loose strands of his raven hair out of his face and resolved to go and get a sandwich as he waited for his three best friends to take his mind off the red-haired girl who had just stomped away from him.

**&**

At their customary time numerous hours later – eleven in the evening – Sirius heaved the box of letters upstairs into the dormitory. He dropped it on the floor between their now-customary little circle, panting as he did so.

"This thing is so damn heavy!" he complained. "It's like trying to lift Peter up after he's eaten breakfast."

"Not funny," Peter protested as the other three laughed maniacally together. "I don't eat _that_ much."

"Yes, you do," James said unexpectedly through his laughter. "It's like something out of a bad television program; you eat worse than the hippogriffs, and they're bloody horse-birds."

"Remus, back me up here," Peter said, throwing his chortling friends dirty looks.

"They're right this time, unfortunately," Remus said with a snort. "I know; I'm surprised too." James in particular was rather shocked by this – Remus usually prided himself on being the most compassionate out of the group, but he was poking fun at Peter with them nonetheless – it was quite an interesting development.

"Thanks a lot guys," Peter said, glowering at all of them.

"No problem, Pete," Sirius said genially, thumping him on the back. "Now, be a peach and tip this box over, yeah?"

Peter rolled his eyes and did so, forcing a mountain of letters fall out. James rooted through them, looking for one in particular, until Sirius asked, "What are you doing, Prongs?"

"Looking for Lily's letter," James answered, continuing to go through the pile. "I have to answer hers first; then I'll answer the other ones."

"You're _obsessed_ with that Evans," Sirius said with a groan. "Come on, Jamesie; there are plenty of girls out there for you to date. Brianna O'Connell – now she's one you might like. Cute, kind of shy, can crack a good joke, laughs like a foghorn at yours. A tad on the possessive side, but I'm sure she'd do. Do you want me to drop a good word for you?"

"Not really, Pads, maybe another time," James said stubbornly. "I'm not dating right now, but Lily's the one I'm interested in."

"I don't know how it happened, but this is the second time that Sirius has been right today," Remus remarked, much to Sirius's mixed vexation and glee. "Maybe you should try to date another girl for a little while. Give Lily her own space; pushing her will only make her despise you more."

"She couldn't despise me more if she tried, so she can only start liking me from this point onward," James insisted. "Call me whatever you want, but I have a good feeling about her. I really think she's someone who's going to be worth my while."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "I try to get you a date with a great girl, and this is how I'm repaid – it's unbelievable! Brianna's a sought-after girl, James, so you should go for her now rather than later. And besides that, ungratefulness to the help of a best friend with your interests at heart is a sin!"

"Would you two please stop bickering and start answering letters?" Remus requested irritably, picking one up as the boys turned to look at him. He read it through, snorted again, and handed it to Peter, who cleared his throat and read it aloud in a high-pitched and squeaky voice.

_Dear Prongs,_

_I'M TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU! WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? I KNOW THAT JEN HARTMAN IS GOING TO ASK YOU OUT AS WELL, BUT SAY NO, OKAY? I ASKED FIRST. I LOVE YOU!_

_XOX,_

_Emily Watson_

"You're going to get a marriage proposal from a girl soon enough, no joke," Sirius said, snatching the letter from Peter and looking at it in disbelief.

"I know," James said with a sigh. "I mean, yeah, I'm Prongs the Marauder, but who said that Prongs the Marauder was interested in any of them?"

"She used absolutely no lower-case letters in the main part of her message either," Remus said with disgust. "Does she not know how to use the English language properly?"

"I reckon she doesn't," Sirius told him solemnly. "I mean, this girl has only lived in England all her life, conversed with hundreds of English-speaking citizens, and used it to write her letter…why would she not know how to use it?"

While James and Peter snorted, Remus exhaled roughly and said, "What I meant was that you are not supposed to capitalize almost every letter in a note. It looks horrible – like you don't know how to use English."

"She's a big spazz," Sirius said. "She doesn't care much for using English properly, as you put it. But, come to think of it, aren't Emily Watson and Jen Hartman friends of Lily's?"

"Yeah, they are," Peter confirmed. "They always sit together at mealtimes and try catching James's eye when he's looking for Lily."

"Great; her friends like me, but she doesn't," James moaned, somewhat exaggerated, but still somewhat genuinely. "Why is the world so cruel to me, Padfoot?"

"Maybe because you complain so much," Sirius suggested. "It's kind of funny to watch. I think that the world likes a bit of entertainment once in a while."

"Gee, thanks," James responded, chucking a nearby pillow at his friend, who laughed merrily and dodged it.

"That wasn't nice, Sirius," Remus reprimanded. "I'm actually quite proud of how this letter thing has been going – my plan is working perfectly."

"You mean you planned for a million girls to send him letters to ask him out?" Peter asked, wrinkling his nose.

"No," Remus snapped. "James is being surprisingly mature about it; his rejections had the potential to be extremely obnoxious, but they weren't, and that's admirable."

"Time to check if you're normal again," Sirius announced. "James, say something perverted."

"Erm, a dream of mine is to bang Lily Evans on a desk for a few hours the day she admits to me that she loves me?" James tried.

Sirius nodded, smiling contentedly. "That's the Prongs I know; I was just scared that this stupid plan of Moony's was going to turn you into a prat or something – I mean, you might actually want to do your _homework_ now, and I don't think I can stand losing my best friend to a cause like that."

"Please – it would take more than a few letters to make me do such felonies," James assured Sirius.

"So you're still going to play tic-tack-toe in History of Magic?" Peter asked.

"Of course," James said as though this was the most obvious thing in the world. "What else is there to do? Listen? Take notes?"

As the three boys high-fived each other, utterly pleased, Remus looked aggravated again. "James, it would not kill you to do some actual work once in a while."

"Yes, it would," James said with a shudder. "Just because Prongs happens to be good at giving advice, doesn't mean that the normal James Potter will be the same way. I still like to mess around and slack off – I'm fifteen, for Merlin's sake. I'm not supposed to care about the world for another few years."

"Maturity is a _good_ thing, James," Remus said. "I mean, you need to get some preparation for the real world beyond the castle walls, don't you? We're going to be legal adults in just two years, and we need to get ourselves properly ready – the habits we develop and hone now will become fundamental building blocks for the –"

"Yeah, yeah, there's plenty of time to be a boring adult; we know that," Sirius said, cutting Remus off with a wave of his arm. "But we're technically still kids right now, so we should enjoy what is left of our childhood."

"Amen," James and Peter said together, with Peter going as far as to provide a salute – something that greatly thrilled Sirius.

"Whatever; just open another letter," Remus said, disgusted.

"Ooh, here's one," Peter said, picking up another letter. He cleared his throat again, and began to read:

_Dear Prongs,_

_I like this girl, Lily Evans, but I don't know how to tell her that. Every time I look at those beautiful eyes of hers, I completely lose it and say something stupid. She's also always with her friends – there is never a time when she's by herself. She's just so perfect, and I really want to ask her out, but I don't know how – what should I do?_

_Head Over Heels for Evans_

"Clever guy," James growled. "He didn't put his name on it – I surely would have killed him if he had."

"Ah, Jamesie, don't be so hard on the poor guy," Sirius said fairly. "I mean, you're not the only one who's noticed that that girl is potentially sexy stuff – even if she's a pain."

"Everyone knows I – meaning the James part – like her," he grumbled, pulling out some parchment and a quill to write his response.

"James, be in your prime now," Remus said warningly. "You are still Prongs; no one knows if Prongs likes Lily or not. Pretend you are giving advice to someone who desires some other girl who _isn't_ Lily, if that helps."

"Oh, don't worry, I feel perfectly fine," James said, scribbling something down furiously. "Read this out, Peter."

There was something about his tone – something pained, tight, demanding – that made the three Marauders, who had been so animated moments before, look nervously at their Prongs. His expression hadn't really changed, but a glimmer of animation that was normally in his eyes of bright hazel had mysteriously vanished, leaving an air of incompleteness in his face.

The boys were sure it would return, but they decided to let it slide for the moment as Peter read out the letter in his hands,

_Dear Head Over Heels,_

_I know that it can be kind of nerve-wracking to ask a girl out, especially when you're not sure what she thinks about you. I'd say to just keep it cool, ask her for a private word, and simply put the idea forward without trying to be something you're not. She's a nice girl – she'll be good about it. Take a chance, really – if you don't, how will you know if you could be in a relationship or not?_

_Good luck,  
Prongs_

"There you go, James," Remus said, smiling in a highly satisfied manner as he observed his best friend. "That was established, well-expressed, and very useful advice. Good job."

Sirius, however, blanched. "Why are you giving him advice about asking out the girl you're in love with?"

"Trying to be 'mature' for Moony," James said through gritted teeth – a tiny bit of the missing animation returned, now that he had seen a couple of strong reactions to his letter, but he wasn't quite there yet.

"Thank you, James," Remus said contentedly. "And as your reward, I'll give you Lily's letter; I found it a few minutes back."

James pounced on Remus to get the letter. Remus, astonished, gave it up quickly as Peter and Sirius cheered, and James was quick to rip it open and stare at it, hoping to see something a little bit beyond his extremely low expectations.

However, he gave a pained snort when he resurfaced and tossed it aside, his eyes shut down completely despite his efforts at appearing blithe and untroubled.

"She loves to torture me," was his only sarcastic remark.

Peter, curious, picked up the parchment from where it had been tossed and began to read:

_Dear Prongs,_

_You know, when I first saw your pranks with the rest of your Marauders, I had, for the briefest second, thought you were exactly what we needed in our school; people who were funny, inventive, and different from everyone else. People who had more to them than the usual blandness. But, I was wrong; you're just like the rest of them. You're shallow and take everything for granted – you think that if you tell me you liked me before, then I'll just suddenly jump up and like you too. Well, you're wrong. I don't like you, Prongs; I don't think I ever will._

_Lily Evans_

"Ooh, bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said sympathetically, patting his friend's shoulder. James, however, was busy writing his response, which he handed to Peter quite rapidly, though with his handwriting a bit messier than it had been for the other letters. Remus looked worried as Peter read that one as well:

_Dear Lily Evans,_

_You know what? I don't really need to hear this, especially not from you. I don't need to hear how much you hate me, or what you think I am. You don't know me. You don't know my name, let alone my personality. And you're right – I don't know you either. But do you know what sucks the most about that? It's the fact that you never even gave me a chance to fix it. You refused to let things work out for the better. I'm done trying now; that goes for both the real me, and this side of me._

_Prongs_

"That was really harsh, Prongs," Sirius said, impressed rather than sorry. "I like it; are you really done with her, as I'd been hoping you would be?"

"I might be," James confirmed. The words shocked him; they were true, and he had never thought the day would come when he questioned his seemingly-undeniable love for Lily Evans. "I mean, she never returns any warm feelings back, does she? I have to move on with life, don't I?"

"Excellent! Finally!" Sirius jumped up, pulled James into a bear hug, and then sat back down. "I'm going to get you together with Brianna tomorrow, I promise."

"I don't want to get together with Brianna yet," James said, shaking his head. "I'm feeling a bit weird tonight; Sirius, can you just put the box back downstairs? I'll answer the rest of the letters tomorrow night."

"Are you sure you're all right?" Peter asked anxiously.

"I don't think so," James said, his eyes murky for the first time as he stood up to go to bed. "But I will be. Sorry."

"It's no big deal," Sirius said dismissively, picking the box up with difficulty to transport it to its table in the common room. "Just feel better, all right, mate? I hate seeing you down like this. Stupid bitch Evans."

"Don't call her that," he said automatically.

"You don't like her anymore; I can call her what I want," Sirius said, his smile triumphant.

"I just said I was done with her – that doesn't mean that I hate her," James said steadily. "I'll talk to you again tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Sirius said, obviously disappointed.

"Good night, James," Peter said, going off to bed as well.

Remus, however, stayed put on the floor with James; he looked thoughtfully at him, waited until Sirius and Peter were out of the room, and then spoke.

"James, are you sure you're all right?" he inquired gently.

"I don't know," James said honestly. "I guess…I'm just a bit irritated. Things aren't going right. I have to pretend I'm intelligent, and thoughtful, and all that shit, when the fact of the matter is that I'm not most of the time. It's almost like lying, you know? Sometimes I feel like I'd actually give that advice in real life, if someone asked me, while at other times, I'm listening purely to the voice in my head that sounds too much like you because that's what I know you'd want me to do. And this was your own bloody idea in the first place."

"You're just maturing," Remus said, grinning slightly at the last bit of his remark. "It's a good thing – there comes a time in life when you have to shed your childish habits and start to become the adult you will be for the rest of your life, as I was saying before. You'll figure it out."

"Okay, I feel different, but I'm not crazy enough to 'mature' just yet," James said with a half-smile. "But I suppose you're right. It's just that this whole thing with Lily is also screwing things up; I mean, her letters are surprisingly nasty for a person like her. Maybe I don't love her like I thought I did. Maybe my good feelings were the ones you get from seeing a cute girl from a distance. I've done _everything_, Moony; what else is left?"

Remus considered. "You haven't been yourself for her yet, I think; she doesn't know you like we do, and she, like any girl, wants a guy who will be sensitive to her. You can do it – Sirius, Peter, and I know that – but she doesn't. Just play it by ear, Prongs; be who your gut tells you to be."

Although this sort of advice – this "be yourself" type of suggestion – really didn't help him, he decided to smile anyway, and say, "Thanks Moony." But, after a moment of consideration, he added, "Oh, and if Sirius catches wind of this conversation, I'll feed you to the Giant Squid, yeah?"

Remus laughed. "Okay. Just figure things out for yourself, all right? Don't take what Sirius says to heart too much when we're screwing around here answering letters. Or me, for that matter; I'm not always right."

"Yeah, you're only right every damn time we ask you for your take on things," James said, smirking. "Go to sleep, Moony."

"You too, Prongs." Remus gave him a pat on the shoulder and got up to go to bed as well. Sirius was already in bed, curled up like a dog, and Peter was snoring loudly from his corner of the room. Remus rolled his eyes and climbed into bed, and James followed suit, although he wouldn't sleep for many more hours, mulling over the events of the night.

He sighed as he rubbed his eyes and yawned; what new source of anguish would Lily Evans cook up for him next?

* * *

**A/N: All right luvs, I ****_promise_**** you, I'm going to post another chapter very, very soon. Then this story will start becoming regular. Bear with me here, please!**


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